70 down - half way there - and NSVs

My scale turned out to be my friend after all. This morning I stepped on it at least 10 times to make sure it really said 224.5

I am sooo relived I broke that annoying plateau and see the scale moving!

70.5 down... and I have now less to lose than I've already lost... 69.5 to go!


I also experienced a couple of NSV yesterday... I was trying on all kinds of clothes and proudly showed my husband "Remember? I wore it on Grandma's 90th Birthday" or "Wanna marry me again?" Because I fit into the dress I wore when we got married (not a Wedding dress, because we never really had a Wedding, just had a small ceremony in City Hall)... "Wanna go to Paris?" because I fit into a Winter Outfit that I bought and only wore once when we vacationed in Paris and never fit into it after that because that's when the Atkins diet ended and I slowly gained my weight back...

My husband was really fascinated... truly fascinated and did not say it just to make me happy, it felt very sincere when he said "I am so excited to be your husband" "You are truly beautiful and I can't wait so see the cookie inside of you that you have been hiding for all these year" and "that I look sexy".

It made me sooo happy to hear him say that... He is my biggest cheerleader and I love him with every fiber of my being. He never complained about my weight and still made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman on the planet. He is the best thing that ever happened to me.

None of my diets ever brought me below the 200 mark... The closest I got was 214 and since it was not too long ago I still remember how it felt like... I can't wait to get below the 214 mark and experience a whole new me that was lost in all that flubber for so many years. I am pretty excited today, because for the first time I really believe that I will make it happen and it makes me very emotional because I had buried that dream or the wish to be "normal" and accepted somehow to be "big" for the rest of my life.

Then there was my most favorite red top... a top that I cherished and loved because it has a cut that hid my weight very good and no matter what the occasion was I could wear it. It was my life-saver on many occasion. If nothing else worked, I always had my red top. Well, the "red top" found it's place next to the size 20 jeans... that I will never ever wear again.. but will be a reminder of where I come from (and where I never ever want to be at).

I am at a point where I really feel the weight loss, where I see the physical changes and where I cannot believe how small my upper body became. When I look in the mirror... I start to see ME! It brings tears to my eyes just typing it... because it really hit me yesterday that the weight will be lost... that I have a huge fire burning within me that will make it happen... it will happen... no matter how long it takes!

I am so excited to get to know "ME" again and I wonder what it will feel like to be "normal" I still have long way to go... but I will get there... step by step... one day at a time... !

Thanks for reading and I am soo thankful that I  have all of you to share my feelings and experiences with. It really means a lot to me.

Lalalalalala - broke the plateau - Lalalalalalalala *dance around the computer*

I am sooooo happy and relieved... after I lost 0.9 lb yesterday today the scale dropped another lb.... lalalalala and I no longer have to look at 228-231....

I am at 226.1 now :-) and have lost a total of 68.9 lb

This totally made my week!

Here are my statistics from yesterday (click to enlarge)

What does your fat feel like?

:-D I have never had a chance to ask anyone that is losing weight and since there are so many of us I would really like to know if you are feeling the same.

When I was laying in my bed last night I felt that all my "fat" feels very different... kinda like Jello or Cotton Balls... very very soft, liquidish, weird... especially on my belly and hips...

Only a couple of weeks ago it felt much more "solid"... I let my husband touch it and he could not believe how funny it felt.

Do you feel the same? I hope it is a good sign :-D

In regards to my post from yesterday and the "Starvation Mode Myth" I would like to add, that of course everyone has to do what works best for each individual. If it works for you to eat more calories and it speeds up your metabolism, good for you! Unfortunately it does not work for me :-( And since I am wearing the GoWear Fit device I can monitor my metabolic rate very closely... the calorie/food intake does not speed up or slow down the rate for me. The only thing that speeds it up or slows it down is my work out routine (or the lack thereof).

I am just so frustrated with that stupid plateau that I am trying to find ways to get the weight loss going again... eating more food/calories had the opposite effect for me... unfortunately... don't get me wrong, if a piece of chocolate could speed up my weight loss I would be more than pleased ;-)

Will keep you informed. At least the scale moved 0.9 lb this morning and hopefully it will move down instead of bouncing back up again. GRRRRR

Wishing all of you a wonderful week and many SVs and NSVs!

@Marie: What do you mean by Chicago? Did I miss anything? Please fill me in!

Here are my statistics from yesterday 4/24/10 (click to enlarge)

Starvation Mode Myth, Protein and Water

It is time to remind myself of the facts. Yesterday I received a very well-meant comment that suggested to increase my calorie intake. I know the person means well and I truly appreciate it. I really do! I have been misguided by the "starvation mode" theory for a long time... but in the end it has no scientific proof and is considered a "myth"

That's why it is important to remember the fact that we can't lose more weight by eating more calories/food.

It doesn't work that way!

Now, in regard to the "starvation" mode, someone who has extra body weight and body fat is not in any "starvation mode" where they need to 'kick start" their metabolism by eating more calories. You can not "eat more" calories to force your body to "lose weight".  
In regard to metabolism, if you are overweight/overfat, you can not cause your metabolism to decrease below a level needed to lose weight while you have extra weight/fat on you, and you can not "lose more weight by eating more calories/food." This is a misunderstanding of the principles of metabolism that does not apply to overweight people trying to lose weight.
Let's say we look at someone who says they are only eating only 800 calories and not losing weight.  A well meaning and good intentioned friend (or professional) has told them they are in starvation mode and in order to lose weight and/or kick-start their metabolism, they need to eat more.    But, what if instead of eating more, what do you think would happen if instead they just stopped eating altogether?Would they go further into starvation mode and continue to stay at the same weight or maybe even "gain" weight? 

Clearly, they would lose more weight if they stopped eating altogether.
We all know (especially those who are familiar with fasting) that if you were to stop eating completely and just live on pure water, you would start to lose weight almost instantly and would continue to do so.  
But according to this theory of the "starvation mode," if you were really in it and you fasted, by its own rational you would lose less weight if any at all, not more. We know this is not accurate.

http://www.healthscience.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=512:are-you-in-the-starvation-mode-or-starving-for-truth&catid=102:jeff-novicks-blog&Itemid=267

The idea that "not eating enough" causes the body to stop losing weight because it goes into "starvation mode" is a popular myth among dieters.
Restricting calories during weight loss lowers metabolism¹ because the body becomes more efficient, requiring fewer calories to perform the necessary daily functions for survival. Consequently, this can slow (but not stop) the anticipated rate of weight loss.

For example, if an individual needs 2,000 calories per day to maintain weight, reducing intake to 1,500 calories, assuming exercise stays the same, should provide a 1 pound per week weight loss (Note: 1 pound of weight is equivalent to about 3,500 calories). Furthermore, reducing to 1,000 calories should result in a weight loss of 2 pounds per week and going down to 500 calories a day should result in a weight loss of 3 pounds per week. However, if an individual actually reduces their intake to 500 calories, the weight loss would not likely be a steady 3 pounds per week because of the reduced metabolic rate. It would likely be around 2¼ to 2½ pounds. This "lower than expected" rate of weight loss is a lot different than "no" weight loss as the "starvation mode" notion proposes.

http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/art/index_art.aspx?tabnum=1&art_id=35501

There are many more interesting articles on the "starvation mode myth"
http://caloriecount.about.com/truth-starvation-mode-ft28742
http://fattyfightsback.blogspot.com/2009/03/mtyhbusters-starvation-mode.html (This one is written by someone that also had WLS)

Now, to apply all of this to myself...

I am actually very happy that I can eat less than 1000 calories... this would never be possible without the band because I would be cranky and starving and miserable all day long. Now I can eat less than 1000 calories and I feel great, satisfied, I am full of energy and I have many happy moments because I am feeling well. And on top of that I have enough energy to work out every day and get even more energy out of it instead of feeling like "I need a nap".

I am not saying to stop eating, but there is nothing wrong with watching calories and to create a calorie deficit that will make us lose weight faster. I am not at a point where 1 pound a week satisfies me... I want to lose at least 2 pounds a week! 2.5 pounds would be even better! And I am willing to work for it!

No matter how much we hate the fact that 3500 calories equal one 1 pound....  it is still a fact and I know by paying close attention to my calorie deficit I will drop that 30 pounds to reach ONEderland.

Do I plan on counting calories for eternity? Hell, no! But when times get tough and weight loss slows down it is very helpful to evaluate the calorie intake.

I got to a point where I seriously asked myself... "Why did I get the band" and the answer is simple, because I am sick and tired of being fat, overweight, chubby or whatever you want to call it. I refuse to live like this and it is up to me to make it happen.

And I will make it happen! 

Thanks for reading, I really had to get this off my chest and I need everyone to remember that the "Starvation Mode theory" is not a scientific fact! So please do not eat more calories just because you are afraid to stop losing weight.



@Barbara, Thanks for your comment! I have to agree with you, protein is very important. I always aim for at least 80g of protein per day. I usually drink a shake with 2 scoops of protein powder (23 g of protein each), soy milk, fresh or frozen berries and some flax seed in the morning and that adds up to 50 g of protein. I can't eat solids in the mornings but breakfast is important. If I do not drink a shake I eat oatmeal or kashi high protein/high fiber cereal but then I would also drink a bottle of isopure (40g of Protein) to make up for the protein.

Lunch is either something like egg or tuna with salad greens and herbs and dinner fish/chicken/beef with veggies. I rarely drop below 80g of protein per day. On most days I consume more than 80g.

And in regards to water... I drink between 4-5 Liters of Water each day, 3-4 (large cups) of coffee during the day and 2-3 (large cups) of green or herbal tea at night.

So and now I got myself all greedy for more weight loss and will jump on my elleptical trainer and burn me some more calories.

No idea what is causing the plateau... but I will break it... I will not give up!

And here are my GoWear Fit statistics for yesterday! (click to enlarge)

Happy Weekend to all of you!

Not losing...

It is frustrating... I am stuck between 227 and 231 for the last 4 weeks and no matter what I do the scale is not moving. And if it is moving it is moving right back up a day later.

I really need to lose that 30 pounds to reach ONEderland. For my own sanity :-D. If it slows down after that so be it, but don't let me be stuck between 227 and 231.

Enough whining... So in order to jump-start the entire losing process I am now wearing my Gowear fit device again and monitor exactly how many calories I am burning and record every single piece of "anything" that enters my body. Mainly to find the perfect calorie deficit.

My restriction is fine, I am not hungry between meals and do perfectly fine with 800-1000 calories per day. Yesterday I only consumed 641 which is on the very low side. I am not really doing anything different than in October/November when I was losing approx. 3 pounds a week. It bothers me a lot that I am not losing.

For the next couple of days/weeks I will post my Gowear Fit statistics because I find them to be extremely helpful to look at at a later time. This may not be my last plateau and I need to find out what works best for me in order to lose consistently and break plateaus.

I know I am not the only one that is "stuck"... and I just wanted to let you all know that I am right here with you... and that I understand your frustration.

April 22, 2010 Statistics (click to enlarge)

I've had it with you!

Look at you fat cells... Your looks are so deceiving... You look all innocent and nobody would expect you to cause so much pain and suffering to so many women world wide.

I hate you and believe me I do not use these words lightly... but  I cannot remember anything good that came out of you ever since you invaded my body about 10 years ago.

There is nothing I enjoy about you! Nothing!

You want to know why?

Because I have tried anything and everything with you... I tried to sweat you out on the treadmill, worked out with scary tattoo freaks in smelly gyms, you did not care how high my heart rate rose by climbing up seriously steep hills on the elliptical trainer, how much I sweated, how many muscles I built and most of all... you did not care how much I starved.

To make matters worse all you ever gave me was a nasty attitude.
Yes, you heard me... you have a bad freaking attitude! You ignored all my attempts to purge you and instead of shrinking or relocating I heard you giggling in my thighs!

I know that from a medical point of view I need some of you... SOME... and somehow you must have missed that part!

If I ever find out which one of you little jerks decided that it is okay to invite all your friends to party within my body there will be serious trouble.

You are lucky that you are small in size, otherwise I would just crush you and rid you out one by one... but your day will come... make no mistake about it.... I will continue my journey with the help of "Your Highness" and you will have no choice but to shrink... Sooner or later I will pee out your "soul" and you will for eternity rod within the Los Angeles canalization system and never ever have the chance to make anyone's life as miserable as you made mine.

This is not a threat! This is a promise!

Consider this letter to be your permanent eviction notice. I've had it with you!

Do you truly believe you will reach your goal? I cannot let go of my size 18 pants!

My closet-spring-cleaning turned out to be a real project... but a project that was fun but also made me think.

I can no longer wear my size 18 pants, which made me very happy but also triggered serious fears within me.

In the past when I was still dieting... I would just put them in the back of the closet or put them in the guest room closet just to be save because you never know when you may need them again ;-)

I sadly realized today that my mind does not allow me to let go of that mental blockage that I am stuck in.

I did not have a weight problem until the age of 18, at least I was not considered overweight and was in a normal weight range. By the time I turned 23 I gained 20 pounds that I really struggled to get rid of and never did. I moved to the USA with 187 lbs and 2 years later ballooned to 250, that's when I lost 50 pounds but it did not last long, another 2 years later I was 285, lost 71 pounds with Atkins in 2004. After that I gained some and lost some. By the time we moved to L.A in 2007 I was 236 pounds, I worked out every day, started Atkins again and only lost 2 pounds in 3 months, that was very demoralizing because I did not understand why I could not lose weight and two years later I ended up at 295 (because I was so sick and tired of diets and it didn't seem to make a difference how much I worked out and how little I ate). That's when the lap-band journey began.

Now I have lost 67 pounds since being banded and the scale shows 228, which makes me very happy... BUT I am so worried that it is just a temporary kind of thing.

When I lost 71 pounds with Atkins I promised myself to never ever gain it back... that I would never allow myself to not pay attention to my weight and it still happened and a couple of years later I was at my heaviest ever.

Back to the size 18 pants... At first I wanted to pass on my clothes via the sisterhood of the traveling pants and let my pants travel from one bandster to another... I put them on a special pile to take pictures, along with some tops that are very dear to me because I find it very hard to find truly beautiful things in plus sizes but then my fears kicked in. The fear of gaining it all back... and not be able of just grabbing a larger size.

In my closet you can find clothes from size 14/XL all the way up to 20/3XL and I realized that they give me a great comfort and some kind of security because no matter how much I gain I always have something to wear no matter if it is a wedding, a party, a business meeting or just a lunch with friends. For me there is nothing more frustrating than the lack of finding the right outfit. I am sure you all know how frustrating it is to go clothes shopping and I have to admit that I regulary cry in dressing rooms because I get so frustrated with myself and my lack of willpower and commitment to my own body.

So why is it so hard for me to let go of the size 18 pants? Because it took so long (and many tears in dressing rooms) to find the perfect fit/cut? Am I subconsciously holding on to it because I think I will gain it all back? It bothers me that I cannot free myself of whatever is holding on to the size 18 pants.

I would really like to know if you can picture yourself at goal weight? Do you truly believe you will get there and stay there?

My goal is 155 pounds because it would put me at a "normal" weight range... not overweight... but normal... It seems soooooo far away that it is really hard to picture myself of getting there. I need to lose 3 more pounds and I am halfway there... but the halfway mark doesn't mean a lot when you still have 70 pounds to lose.

What's wrong with me? Is anyone having similar "issues"?

Bye-Bye 230s - Hope to never ever see you again

Good Riddance 230s... What a stubborn visitor this was... hope to never ever see you again!

I gave it my all this month... and unfortunately it did not pay off the way I expected :-(

Even though I lost 10 pounds in the month of March I was really hoping to lose a couple of more pounds to reach my Easter Goal of 225! It is highly unlikely that I will drop 4 pounds in the next 48 hours. It's okay, I am still very happy that I lost enough to say good bye to the 230s and if I can continue to lose 10 pounds a month I will be EXTREMELY happy!

I never thought that I would write anything like this... but I am no longer hungry, have no appetite and food just does not taste the way it used to taste. I am having the problem not getting enough calories in. It is not the restriction because I could eat much more if I wanted to...I have never experienced anything like this because I am a food lover and there are varieties of foods I truly love and like to eat...I wouldn't be overweight if I didn't like food, lol!

It really bothers me because I would like to eat in the 1000 calories range... So tomorrow I will have to create a meal plan and force myself to stick to it whether I like it or not.


On a different note, I had a couple of NSV this week...

#1
The most important one, I can (for the first time) see that I have lost weight. Until last week I could only see it in my face but not on my body even though I have dropped sizes in clothing and my husband and other people are pointing it out all the time... but nothing feels better when you can actually see it (and believe it) yourself!

#2
I cannot wear my wedding band any longer because it slips right off... my watch hangs on the underside of my wrist because it got too lose. No idea if I should have it adjusted or wait it out until goal weight.

#3
I am being ID'd for buying wine. Seriously! I am 35 years old, lol!

#4
My closet needs a serious "spring cleaning" Last week we had 80+ degrees and I had to work my way through at least 10 summer tops to finally find one that actually fits.

Other than that I am still extremely busy with work... this weekend I will do some serious spring-cleaning and if time permits plant my veggie and fruit seedlings in my garden.

Will check in with you soon. Bonnie and Band Groupie...Thanks for asking for me and I am truly sorry that I could not respond sooner.