9 months ago at this time I was having surgery... wow... time passed by soo fast... and now looking at it from that angle it is unbelievable that I have lost 85.5 lb since then.
Weightlosswise my expectations are definitely exceeded and I never expected to be flirting with ONEderland at this time especially because of the infection and port removal surgery and all. I guess the most important lesson I've learned along this journey is... no matter how hard you fall you can always get up again and run off to the finish line. And there is nothing that can stop me now! I want to see that freaking 199 on my scale and want and will reach my goal of 155!
It was so frustrating to look at that ticker and see 140 lb to lose.... and it feels really really good that this 140 turned into a 54.5! It is getting smaller and smaller and so am I!
My mind still cannot accept my weight loss... I have many fat days, and I have them more often than I had them at 295. I hate my legs and I am anticipating that day when I can truly see that my legs are getting thinner. Of course I am feeling sooo much better and I am not afraid to wear a bikini in my private backyard and jump in the pool... something I didn't do last year because I was so afraid that a neighbor could see me. A lot of those fears are subsiding, which is a very good thing, because I am feeling so much more alive and free.
What I did not expect was, that this lap-band journey would still be such hard work because for every pound I lose I have to work really hard for. It was very different in the beginning of my journey... I lost almost effortless. When I read other blogs it seems that it may be different for other bandsters but for me it involves a great deal of calorie deficit counting and keeping a close eye on my daily food intake and especially exercise. And the quality of food was not really my problem... it was the quantity!
But it is okay. It doesn't bother me that much because I know that it will be the last time I've ever have to do this and as long as the weight is coming off I do not care how much I have to pay attention.
I thank all of you that have commented on that post deeply for your positive thoughts, advice and input! I <3 you for supporting me!
Happy Weekend!
Friday, June 11, 2010
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