Bye-Bye Mr. Lap-band... Hello Mr. Sleeve, Revision Surgery is done!

Hi Everyone,

I had my surgery last Friday and I am now officially lap-band free but sleeved.

This time I took a very different approach, I completely ignored that I was about to have surgery, didn't read any blogs, forums or articles the weeks prior to surgery and just let it happen. And I am glad I did.

I was very brave. We arrived at the hospital at 8 AM and everything went pretty fast. Before I knew it all the pre-op stuff was in progress, they put in the IV, my surgeon arrived, he talked to me for a few minutes and I was pushed in the operating room. Surgery started at 10 AM. Inside the operating room was a whole lot of activity going on and I only remember saying "Wow, now I am really getting kind of nervous" and immediately the anesthesiologist put some liquid in the IV and said: "This will help you to relax" and gone I was.

The surgery was kind of long... It took almost 4 hours :-( When I woke up in the recovery area I felt really bad. My mouth was sooo dry and I had the worst nausea ever. They kept me there for some time and brought me to my room many hours later.

The first day/night was horrible. The nausea meds didn't help at all... and since I couldn't pee they ultrasound-ed my bladder throughout the night. This was actually the weirdest feeling ever. I wanted to pee but whatever you normally do to release pee didn't work. I had no control over it.

The daytime-shift nurse really helped me to resolve this on Tuesday. She was the sweetest and most caring nurse I have ever met in my life. Every time I peed she got all excited and gave me high-five. Luckily I didn't need a catheter!

There was no way that I could have gone home after only one night in the hospital. I ended up staying there for 3 nights. The entire nausea thing took some time to resolve and I was very weak for the first 2 days. I slept most of the time and didn't even have the energy to hold a conversation or to drink my protein shakes. I only felt utter gratefulness for these wonderful nurses that cared for me <3.

It got better every day and on Monday I felt really confident that I could handle all of it at home.

On a great note...up to today I never experienced any pain inside of me or at the incisions. It's more like discomfort and when I move a certain way I do feel sore, but no pain. In the hospital I took some painkillers because they seemed to help with the nausea, but very small doses.

My incisions look great. My surgeon used the same incisions that I had from the lap-band surgery and I do not even feel them. I remember that after lap-band surgery the port area was sore for weeks, not so with the sleeve surgery. I am totally amazed how neat the incisions look and how little pain I had through all of this.

I am really excited now... Unfortunately my scale hasn't been my friend prior to surgery. In the hospital I weighed in at 186.5 and that's 20 lbs more than my lowest lap-band weight :-(

Finally I am losing again and I totally missed that. I've lost 9.8 lbs within one week :-)))))

Honestly, I never expected to lose that much with my low starting weight (did I really just write that?)

Can't wait to update my ticker <3 It's really exciting!

I hope all of you are well and life treats you good in lap-band or sleeve land!

Love & Hugs,

S.

Bye-Bye 220's lb and Bye-Bye 100 kg - Finally Second Mini Goal!

This one was sooo important to me! Whew! Finally!

The scale finally displayed 219.7 this morning... and immediately I had to switch my scale to the metric system to see that I am less than 100 kg!

That's the reason why my second mini goal was 220 lb and I am feeling soooo good about it. Anything above 100kg sounds horrible. It also just hit me that I have lost 75.3 lb since September 2009... and that it is a lot of weight!

I don't even know what to blog about because I am so damn happy that I guess I have to dance around my computer for a while and digest the good news.

Wishing every one a Happy Weekend and all Mom's a wonderful Mother's Day!

70 down - half way there - and NSVs

My scale turned out to be my friend after all. This morning I stepped on it at least 10 times to make sure it really said 224.5

I am sooo relived I broke that annoying plateau and see the scale moving!

70.5 down... and I have now less to lose than I've already lost... 69.5 to go!


I also experienced a couple of NSV yesterday... I was trying on all kinds of clothes and proudly showed my husband "Remember? I wore it on Grandma's 90th Birthday" or "Wanna marry me again?" Because I fit into the dress I wore when we got married (not a Wedding dress, because we never really had a Wedding, just had a small ceremony in City Hall)... "Wanna go to Paris?" because I fit into a Winter Outfit that I bought and only wore once when we vacationed in Paris and never fit into it after that because that's when the Atkins diet ended and I slowly gained my weight back...

My husband was really fascinated... truly fascinated and did not say it just to make me happy, it felt very sincere when he said "I am so excited to be your husband" "You are truly beautiful and I can't wait so see the cookie inside of you that you have been hiding for all these year" and "that I look sexy".

It made me sooo happy to hear him say that... He is my biggest cheerleader and I love him with every fiber of my being. He never complained about my weight and still made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman on the planet. He is the best thing that ever happened to me.

None of my diets ever brought me below the 200 mark... The closest I got was 214 and since it was not too long ago I still remember how it felt like... I can't wait to get below the 214 mark and experience a whole new me that was lost in all that flubber for so many years. I am pretty excited today, because for the first time I really believe that I will make it happen and it makes me very emotional because I had buried that dream or the wish to be "normal" and accepted somehow to be "big" for the rest of my life.

Then there was my most favorite red top... a top that I cherished and loved because it has a cut that hid my weight very good and no matter what the occasion was I could wear it. It was my life-saver on many occasion. If nothing else worked, I always had my red top. Well, the "red top" found it's place next to the size 20 jeans... that I will never ever wear again.. but will be a reminder of where I come from (and where I never ever want to be at).

I am at a point where I really feel the weight loss, where I see the physical changes and where I cannot believe how small my upper body became. When I look in the mirror... I start to see ME! It brings tears to my eyes just typing it... because it really hit me yesterday that the weight will be lost... that I have a huge fire burning within me that will make it happen... it will happen... no matter how long it takes!

I am so excited to get to know "ME" again and I wonder what it will feel like to be "normal" I still have long way to go... but I will get there... step by step... one day at a time... !

Thanks for reading and I am soo thankful that I  have all of you to share my feelings and experiences with. It really means a lot to me.

What does your fat feel like?

:-D I have never had a chance to ask anyone that is losing weight and since there are so many of us I would really like to know if you are feeling the same.

When I was laying in my bed last night I felt that all my "fat" feels very different... kinda like Jello or Cotton Balls... very very soft, liquidish, weird... especially on my belly and hips...

Only a couple of weeks ago it felt much more "solid"... I let my husband touch it and he could not believe how funny it felt.

Do you feel the same? I hope it is a good sign :-D

In regards to my post from yesterday and the "Starvation Mode Myth" I would like to add, that of course everyone has to do what works best for each individual. If it works for you to eat more calories and it speeds up your metabolism, good for you! Unfortunately it does not work for me :-( And since I am wearing the GoWear Fit device I can monitor my metabolic rate very closely... the calorie/food intake does not speed up or slow down the rate for me. The only thing that speeds it up or slows it down is my work out routine (or the lack thereof).

I am just so frustrated with that stupid plateau that I am trying to find ways to get the weight loss going again... eating more food/calories had the opposite effect for me... unfortunately... don't get me wrong, if a piece of chocolate could speed up my weight loss I would be more than pleased ;-)

Will keep you informed. At least the scale moved 0.9 lb this morning and hopefully it will move down instead of bouncing back up again. GRRRRR

Wishing all of you a wonderful week and many SVs and NSVs!

@Marie: What do you mean by Chicago? Did I miss anything? Please fill me in!

Here are my statistics from yesterday 4/24/10 (click to enlarge)

Bye-Bye 230s - Hope to never ever see you again

Good Riddance 230s... What a stubborn visitor this was... hope to never ever see you again!

I gave it my all this month... and unfortunately it did not pay off the way I expected :-(

Even though I lost 10 pounds in the month of March I was really hoping to lose a couple of more pounds to reach my Easter Goal of 225! It is highly unlikely that I will drop 4 pounds in the next 48 hours. It's okay, I am still very happy that I lost enough to say good bye to the 230s and if I can continue to lose 10 pounds a month I will be EXTREMELY happy!

I never thought that I would write anything like this... but I am no longer hungry, have no appetite and food just does not taste the way it used to taste. I am having the problem not getting enough calories in. It is not the restriction because I could eat much more if I wanted to...I have never experienced anything like this because I am a food lover and there are varieties of foods I truly love and like to eat...I wouldn't be overweight if I didn't like food, lol!

It really bothers me because I would like to eat in the 1000 calories range... So tomorrow I will have to create a meal plan and force myself to stick to it whether I like it or not.


On a different note, I had a couple of NSV this week...

#1
The most important one, I can (for the first time) see that I have lost weight. Until last week I could only see it in my face but not on my body even though I have dropped sizes in clothing and my husband and other people are pointing it out all the time... but nothing feels better when you can actually see it (and believe it) yourself!

#2
I cannot wear my wedding band any longer because it slips right off... my watch hangs on the underside of my wrist because it got too lose. No idea if I should have it adjusted or wait it out until goal weight.

#3
I am being ID'd for buying wine. Seriously! I am 35 years old, lol!

#4
My closet needs a serious "spring cleaning" Last week we had 80+ degrees and I had to work my way through at least 10 summer tops to finally find one that actually fits.

Other than that I am still extremely busy with work... this weekend I will do some serious spring-cleaning and if time permits plant my veggie and fruit seedlings in my garden.

Will check in with you soon. Bonnie and Band Groupie...Thanks for asking for me and I am truly sorry that I could not respond sooner.

Bye bye 240s - Hello 230s... have not seen you in a while

Glad to see you again 230s.... have not seen you in a couple of years :-) And when I met you last time you left way too quickly ;-) Hopefully you won't stay too long neither but this time you'll be replaced with the 220s not with the 240s! Yeah!

Guys, you have NO IDEA how thankful I am for my great restriction. My surgeon put my right back to my sweet spot and I am back in the weight-losing-mode. 2 more pounds to go and I will reach the 60 pounds mark :-)))

It feels good to have a real restriction because it not only restricts me from eating too much but it also removes craving for certain foods. Food is the last thing on my mind, yesterday I realized at 3 pm that I did not eat anything all day... not good and will not happen again, I promise! At 3 pm I ate some high-fiber Kashi Cereal with low fat greek yoghurt (actually breakfast) and for Dinner I had filet of sole and some spinach. I am drinking a lot of water and also had a bottle of Isopure to make sure I get enough protein and of course took my vitamins. I take 1000mg of Vitamin C (normally take 500mg), a Multi Vitamin, B-100s and Omega Gummy Bears.

On a different note;
Today my seeds arrived and I cannot wait to get my vegetable garden started. I've decided I want to try out gardening and to harvest my own veggies (hopefully). I ordered organic seeds from an online store and will try my luck with tomatoes, eggplants, peppers (hot and sweet), zucchini, broccoli, melons, potatoes and all kinds of herbs and mint. Not so sure if I have a green thumb... but time will tell ;-) To be on the save side I also ordered a book about square foot gardening and a book that explains everything in detail. Cannot wait to get it started.  Will keep you updated on my little gardening project.

Thanks for your warm welcome-back messages. I am soooo glad to be back and really need my blog and you guys through this journey.

***Hugs****

Yeah... met my Thanksgiving Goal! :-)

Let's forget about the infection for a moment. Even though I am in pain since the port removal surgery, especially since they closed the hole... Today is all about celebrating because today is the biggest day for me since moving to Lap-Band-Land!

• I met my first mini-goal
• I have lost a total of 40 pounds
• I am no longer morbidly obese
• My new BMI is 39.9
• I have "only" 100 pounds to go (instead of 140) to reach my goal weight of 155 pounds.
• I set an aggressive goal and reached that goal!
• The scale shows 255 instead of 295
• It was not that difficult to lose the 40 pounds
• I got rid of the diet-mentality 
• I am feeling so much better and happier.

Update on the Infection front:

I had the port removal surgery last Friday, my surgeon did not close the hole and it was very weird to live with a hole by the belly button. It bothered me a great deal because I had to change the dressing 3 times a day and even though I enjoyed playing "Doctor" as a child I am not really into that any longer. On Tuesday I went to my surgeon's office, I cannot remember that I ever experienced something so painful. He cleaned the hole and then closed it with stitches. I felt like I could not take the pain and cried and screamed. The area is very sensitive, not the wound itself but the surrounding area, it feels like some "nerves" are very upset. It looks like it is healing okay. Today the pain got a little better but I still need painkillers throughout the day and night. On Tuesday I will see my surgeon again but I have no idea when the port will be put back. Since I still have strong restriction I do not care that much, right now I just want to be without pain and start working out again.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my US-based bandster friends! I will definitely reward myself with a delicious piece of Pecan pie :-)

Finally... Good Riddance 270s

Finally I lost the 3.5 pounds that I had magically gained. I have no clue where the 3.5 pounds came from but I know that they were anything else but fat.

This morning I stepped on the scale and it finally displayed the number I was so much waiting and working hard for:  269 pounds!

This brings my total weight loss to 26 pounds!

I increased the exercising to 30 minutes power-walking in the morning and in the evening, my dog loves it even more than I do ;-) and 30 minutes on the elliptical and 20 minutes on the stationary bike. Unfortunately I have not found a boot-camp-style jerk yet, that will boss me around (a/k/a personal trainer). Not an easy task, I guess my personality and looks are too sweet a/k/a soft and people are afraid that I could start crying when they boss me around. Until I find the right person I will  continue to  exercise at home / outdoors. After reading your Blogs and your work-out DVD experiences I  also ordered some for myself... they will get here by tomorrow but I will most likely not get a chance to watch them until the weekend. I ordered The Shred and some Pilates DVDs and will definitely let you know how much I like them or hate them ;-)

In regards to the restriction... well... Since yesterday I do not have much of a restriction left... it magically disappeared the same way as the 3.5 lbs appeared - no explanation whatsoever. So tomorrow I will call my surgeon's office and hopefully I can get another fill next week.

09/09 = 295
09/11 = 290 (Surgery)
09/16 = 283
09/19 = 282
09/22 = 279.5
09/25 = 278.5

10/03 = 277.5
10/06 = 276 (First Fill)
10/11 = 274.0
10/12 = 273
10/13 = 272
10/14 = 271.0
10/16 = 274.5
10/20 = 271.1
10/21 = 269.0

14 pounds to go until I reach my first mini-goal of 255!

I'm singing in the rain...

Yesterday it started raining for the first time since Spring. We do not get a lot of rain in L.A. but when we do I really enjoy it. It is something special because it does not happen often and I enjoy the feelings that rain brings with it, such as enjoying a hot cup of tea, wearing socks, covering up with a blanket in the evening, etc. Especially since the aunt visited... I already forgot how you guys call the aunt but you know which one I mean, the one that always wears red dresses and is kind of annoying because she gives you headaches and cramps.

I did not expect to lose any weight because of the water retention that auntie brings with her... BUT to my surprise I was down to 271 this morning! Can you believe this? I am down to 271! This makes it a total loss of 24 pounds! This is much more than I expected or dreamed of! This means I lost 24 pounds in 33 days (+ 2 days pre-op diet).

So when I took my dog for a walk this morning, all bundled up in rain-proof clothes and enjoying the crisp, clean air I could not help it and ran like a 5-year old... dancing in the rain! I am glad nobody saw me... but even if someone did I could not care less. I am happy, really... I am so happy that Your Highness is working... I love Your Highness!

Last night I was reading on Lapbandtalk.com and I was surprised to see how many people are frustrated with their band, I even read that one person has her band for only a week and hates it so much that she wants it to be removed. I am very sorry that people feel that way and I hope they will reconsider their decision.

I guess everyone has different expectations and everyone hopes that the band maybe still turns out like a magical fix that just takes the weight off. I do not blame anyone, nor do I judge... I guess I have those hopes myself... even though I know that it does not work that way.

I got my first fill 8 days ago... and since then I am re-discovering the signs my body is sending me. I am very much in tune with my body and can even feel when I am ovulating and which ovary releases the egg. This may sound crazy but my body sends so many signals that I just cannot ignore and I always loved to analyze the signs MY body sends me. Keep in mind that every body is different and what applies to me may not apply to another body.

The last 8 days it has been all about food and the feelings and signs that are associated with it.

• My feeling of being full has changed. Full does not mean I have to open the button of my pants or having a feeling of being stuffed but instead it is a feeling that I am no longer hungry and that I do not need to finish my plate to get any satisfaction from food. This has nothing to do with will-power, I do not have to force myself to stop... it comes naturally.
  
• My feeling of appetite has changed. I am not craving any foods nor snacks. I eat my 3 meals per day and I am satisfied. There are times when I am really hungry and I do not know what to eat... nothing seems to really excite me anymore... I am eating to stop the feeling of hunger but I do not dream of any foods or feel deprived of not having certain foods.
• Getting stuck... I have problems with beef, even if it is soft and covered in gravy... I tried it twice and it got stuck badly. Yesterday evening it took an hour to go down and I was really worried because the feeling is very unpleasant. I did not PB as of yet but I am still experimenting what I can eat and what not.
• I tried high-protein shakes for breakfast because I am not really an eater in the morning but I do not do too good on them. I guess they are considered slider-food and they do not give me that full feeling that lasts for a couple of hours. I switched to oatmeal (with a small amount of milk so it is not too liquidish in its consistency and sprinkle protein powder with no flavor on top of it). I eat it at approximately 10 AM and will not get hungry until 2:30 PM. 
• I need 3 meals a day... there is no way I can adapt my pre-lap-band eating habits. I only ate two meals a day before... and dinner always was the biggest meal of the day and the one with the most calories. I assume that I ate at least 80% of my calories in the evening hours which contributed largely to my weight gain. Dinner is now my smallest meal of the day.
• Hiccups; I get hiccups when eating too fast and not chewing properly.
• Burps; I do burp much more than before, especially when I get stuck.
• Vitamins; my body needs Vitamins. I forgot to take them for 3 days and got very tired in the afternoons... I even needed a late afternoon nap on those days. I take a liquid multi-vitamin + 1000mg of liquid Vitamin C + Vitamin B-Complex. I need to remind myself everyday to take my vitamins.
• Thirst, the more water I drink the more often I feel thirsty. If I do not drink water...or too much coffee... I will not feel thirsty at all... I have a bottle of water next to my bed and finish that bottle of water while I am still getting ready for the day. This is more like a job but it helps me to properly hydrate myself throughout the day. I have no scientific proof for that but it works for me. 

Now that I am at 271 I really got greedy... I am only 1.1 pounds away of saying my final good byes to the 270s... With my birthday coming up on Friday I really want this to be my birthday gift. I will not step on the scale until Friday morning and will work very hard to lose 1.1 pounds until then. This would be the biggest birthday gift I could give myself and something that would exceed all my hopes and expectations I have had before lap-band-surgery.

Roses are red...

The best news first: The scale finally showed 279.5 this morning *GoodRiddance280s* :-)))

The follow-up appointment was fine, I finally got to see all the people that helped me so much throughout this process and until today I had only known their voices. The check-up was quick and painless... while he worked on my incisions he was answering all the questions I had and to my surprise offered me a fill for next week. He is not in next week and I did not want to settle for the assistant... Why? Well, I have an assistant, too and while assistants of great people are good ... they would not be assistants if they were as qualified as the person they are assisting, right?.... so I scheduled an appointment for October 6th to have my first fill done by my surgeon.

I made it on time for my facial appointment at the Aveda Spa. It certainly was the most relaxing time I had all month. I jumped into my robe, selected the Rose Oil for aromatherapy and to be used on my skin... and while the room was filling up with the soothing smell of roses I was laying there listening to the relaxing sounds of nature and almost fell asleep.

Back at the office it was hard to get myself back into the working mode... I really had to push myself hard to focus on work and to get Me and my weight loss out of my mind. After all that is how I make a living and in the end of the day it is a very important part of my life. But at the same time I also blame my work and my success for my weight gain... For the last years I was focusing more on my career than on myself and I have to (re-)learn to find a balance between taking work serious and taking very good care of myself simultaneously.

On my way home I stopped by Costco to buy some necessities... They were just filling up the flower section with fresh flowers and I bought myself a wonderful bouquet of red roses that are now standing on my dining room table.

The most beautiful flowers are those that I buy for myself. When I get flowers from a man they always have an additional meaning, they are either to please you, to make you forget something or to get something from you... but it is rarely about the beauty of a flower itself.

I would like to share the beauty of a rose with you and I promise I do not want anything in return from you, I want you to pick an imaginary flower from the picture above and remind yourself that you are a beautiful human being, no matter how fat, ugly or depressed you feel at times.