Infection healed, Port back, happy and healthy again :-)

Hi @all,

Did you miss me? ;-) I surly missed you guys :-)
I am truly sorry for not blogging in such a long time. Unfortunately I was/am so busy with work that blogging was just not possible. At any rate... I am back :-) and I am happy to be back :-)

Here are the news:
Due to an infection I had my port removed on 11/20/2009 and I am happy to say that my infection has healed and I no longer have any problems or pain. It took a little while to get an appointment at Cedars Sinai to get my port back. From what I have learned December is a very busy month and I only got my port back on January 15th 2010. It felt like I was waiting for forever to get a surgery date. This was the best surgery out of all 3, everything went very well and even though they had to put me under general anesthesia I did not get sick, had no gas pain and no other pain at all *knockonwood*

When I got the port back I lost all my restriction :-( This was very bad and I have done some very bad things. Nor sure if I should tell you a little food porn but the worst thing was when I ate an entire Costco bag (those bags are HUGE, meant for 5 families or so) of potato chips on a weekend.

Am I bad or what? :-D But I am glad it happened, not the infection of course, but my mega-5-families-super-sized-bag-of-potato-chips-experience because I came to realize that I am sick, sick when it comes to food and that I have no will power to say "no" or to stop eating when I actually should not be eating. Lap-band surgery was the best thing I have ever done for myself.

I did not gain any weight though because other than a couple of moments of weakness I did okay, even without restriction. However, I was stuck at 246 for many weeks. Once I lost my "sweet spot"it got more and more difficult. "You only know what you had when you lose it" is soo true!

On February 2nd I got my first fill since I got the port back and the restriction only lasted a couple of days. On Tuesday, February 23rd I went for another fill and I am feeling GREAT! My restriction is right there where it was before I got the infection and I am very motivated again. I hope it stays there if not I will get another fill. At this point I have no more time to waste ;-)

When it comes to my weight loss:
9/11-09   Starting Weight 295
11/20/09 Port Removal Surgery Weight 259 (lost 36 pounds)
1/15/10   Port-back Surgery Weight 246 (lost 49 pounds)
Today:    240 pounds (total loss of 55 pounds)

Yes, the infection was a little set-back for me. I had to work much harder to still lose weight because the restriction I had (without the port) was not sweet-spot-restriction but I am still happy that I continued to lose weight and most of all did not gain any.

I am also glad that this all lays behind me. I tried to avoid thinking about it too much and that was probably also a reason why I avoided lapbandtalk and blogger.

Hopefully by tomorrow I can say FINALLY good-bye to the 240s and my goal for March is to say my final good-byes to the 230s.

I am happy, healthy and I loooooooooove my lap-band :-)

Now that the infection and recovery from it lays behind me... I would still do it again! Even with the infection and all... the lap-band is sooooo worth it.

I hope all of you are doing great and I can't wait to read your blogs and let them inspire me.

Thanks for all your support and last but not least I would like to wish everyone a Happy 2010 ;-)

I want my port back :-(

I have not posted for a while because I have been extremely busy with work and all the Holiday stuff. During the last couple of weeks my Christmas packages from friends and family in Europe arrived and they were all stuffed to the brim with cookies, marzipan and gingerbread (and books and DVDs and gifts for Christmas). Very bad! This is really the stuff that gets to me because it is not just candy... it's what childhood memories taste like. I have been hiding it all around the house and so far have been doing good.

Unfortunately I do not have much of a restriction left and have to rely on willpower. All those European Christmas Goodies around the house do not make it any easier. I normally do not buy those foods because if I do not have them at home I do not eat them nor crave them.

Yesterday we had friends over and had a wonderful BBQ... after Dinner I served a lot of the European Goodies with Tea and I am glad that everyone really liked it and ate a lot :-)

I have no idea when my port will be put back... this year? next year? It seems to be difficult for my surgeon's office to get an appointment from the hospital. We actually planned on flying to NYC next week to spend the holidays with my in-laws and I have no idea if I should cancel the flights or not. Nobody can give me any answers which frustrates me even more. I really need a fill soon and I am getting more and more frustrated with all of this. This is the wrong time of the year to be without a restriction and it saddens me that the entire infection-issue has somewhat killed my motivation...

Last week I said good-bye to the 250 and the scale displayed 249 (46 pounds lost), which made me very happy... however it wasn't a final good bye because today the scale showed 251 again :-(

I WANT MY PORT BACK!!! I WANT A FILL!!! AND I WANT MY MOTIVATION BACK!!! HELP!!!

Yeah... met my Thanksgiving Goal! :-)

Let's forget about the infection for a moment. Even though I am in pain since the port removal surgery, especially since they closed the hole... Today is all about celebrating because today is the biggest day for me since moving to Lap-Band-Land!

• I met my first mini-goal
• I have lost a total of 40 pounds
• I am no longer morbidly obese
• My new BMI is 39.9
• I have "only" 100 pounds to go (instead of 140) to reach my goal weight of 155 pounds.
• I set an aggressive goal and reached that goal!
• The scale shows 255 instead of 295
• It was not that difficult to lose the 40 pounds
• I got rid of the diet-mentality 
• I am feeling so much better and happier.

Update on the Infection front:

I had the port removal surgery last Friday, my surgeon did not close the hole and it was very weird to live with a hole by the belly button. It bothered me a great deal because I had to change the dressing 3 times a day and even though I enjoyed playing "Doctor" as a child I am not really into that any longer. On Tuesday I went to my surgeon's office, I cannot remember that I ever experienced something so painful. He cleaned the hole and then closed it with stitches. I felt like I could not take the pain and cried and screamed. The area is very sensitive, not the wound itself but the surrounding area, it feels like some "nerves" are very upset. It looks like it is healing okay. Today the pain got a little better but I still need painkillers throughout the day and night. On Tuesday I will see my surgeon again but I have no idea when the port will be put back. Since I still have strong restriction I do not care that much, right now I just want to be without pain and start working out again.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my US-based bandster friends! I will definitely reward myself with a delicious piece of Pecan pie :-)

Port removal - It's done - Living without a port!

It's done... my port has been removed on Friday morning. My surgery was scheduled for 7:15 am and I had to be there at 5:15 am, way too early for me... but this way I could not worry too much.

When we arrived at the hospital I had to follow the same procedure as for the initial lap-band surgery except that it took place on a different floor. Everybody was extremely nice, caring and professional. After I changed into the "sexy" surgery outfit they took my weight and the hospital scale displayed 254.5 lbs which made me extremely happy... but since I do not go by the hospital scale it does not mean that my scale at home will display the same weight. At any rate... it made me happy because in that very moment I was not an morbidly obese person :-)

I mentioned it already in my earlier postings that I have a severe needle-into-my-veins-phobia and during the last couple of days I had some horrible experiences. For the pre-surgery blood test I was sent to one of those diagnostics centers on Wednesday and met the rudest nurse EVER. She did not care, yelled at me and even insulted me because of my accent. No idea what her problem was. I surely hope that she does not have any children. Then on Friday at the hospital an anesthesiologist student was trying to put the IV needle in but couldn't do it. He tried 4 times at different locations but did not hit the vein. After that I was so frustrated that I asked for a "real" anesthesiologist to put in the IV because I couldn't take this try and miss the vein any longer. He put it in with the first try and it was not painful at all. However, my arms and wrists are all blue and green from all the trials.

Then everything went very fast, my surgeon arrived, my doctor arrived (no idea why he was there), my husband was called in and I tried to convince everyone that I do not need/want general anesthesia... the last time I felt so horrible that I did not want to go through all of it again. So they gave me propofol  instead and I knocked out and cannot remember much.

My surgeon took my port out... AND he managed for me to keep my restriction! YEAH!!!! So now I do not care how long this healing process will take because I still have my restriction.

Even though I wish that I had never gotten this infection in the first place, it was important for me that my surgeon found out what kind of an infection I have and since it is a staph infection (staphylococcus aureus) it was also important for me to have the port removed. Unfortunately the antibiotics will not work on the port (or any implant for that matter) and some surgeons believe that there is a  strong connection between infections and that they (if not treated 100%) may later lead to erosion of the band. This is not a chance I want to take.

Sorry, TMI... my surgeon did not close up the port area, so I am living with a hole at my belly button area until Tuesday. It is stuffed with gauze and I have to remove it 3 times a day and have to keep it wet with Saline. Not something that is very pleasant to do. But this way most part of the infection can leak out. It is not that bad especially since it is so much less painful than when the port was still inside.

I am feeling good, have no pain and most importantly I still have a restriction. No idea when the port will be put back in... but will definitely keep you informed.

Thank you very much for your positive words, motivation, encouragement... you are the best cheering squad anyone can have... you guys are the BEST!

Verdict: Infection! :-(

My worst fear has become a reality, I indeed have an infection.

During the next couple of days I will have to undergo all the pre-op procedures for clearance again and have my port removed. I do not know all the whens and whats yet but will keep you informed. All I know is that the port will be removed soon and that I may lose my restriction since it is complicated to clip the lap-band tubing.

Need to be sad for a couple of hours and digest the bad news.

This is a major set-back for me and I am really starting to think that some force does not want me to get slim and puts those nasty obstacles in my path.

I will show you who will be slim very soon! Nothing and nobody will stop me!!!

Still waiting for the results....

I have not blogged in a week and I just want to give you all an update... have not received news on the results yet. The pain in the port area is still present and it really bothers me because it prevents me from working out. I have been down for the last couple of days and it upsets me that I have to deal with all of this. That's the reason why I did not feel like blogging, the moment I blog I have to face the fact that there may be an infection and until I know for sure I like to pretend that all is well.

At least on the scale front everything is going well for me. I have lost another 5 pounds (36 in total), said my good-byes to the 260s and I am only 4 pounds away from reaching my Thanksgiving goal of 255. Looking forward to that number very much because I won't be morbidly obese any longer and this number is a very important milestone in my journey.

Thank you for all your positive and motivating comments to my last blog entry. You are the greatest cheerleaders! I wish I could give you the same support right now and I promise that I will be back to my old self as soon as I know what is going on within my body.  Waiting for the verdict is the hardest part.

Infection or no Infection? Waiting on the verdict...

I went to see my surgeon today. He was totally unaware of why I came to his office and probably thought that I wanted another fill. I wish...

So I had to break the news to him that I am having port pain since more than a week and that it just does not feel right and that I think that something has to be wrong.

I have to admit that I was reading in the Complications section of Lapbandtalk.com almost all night and googled as much about infections as my brain was able to take. Poor People, I never really paid attention to that section before and my heart goes out to all the people that had complications. I was kind of worried to see my surgeon today because all that negative stuff on lapbandtalk.com left a very bad taste in my mouth - especially when Doctors did not do right by their patients and one complication led to a series to other complications.

I am so utterly thankful that my surgeon did exactly what I expected him to do, without me telling him to do so. Even though I already knew that my surgeon is great, he completely renewed my confidence and trust in him.

My surgeon agreed that the area is red and he also felt that the area is warmer than other areas. He numbed the area first and then drew some liquid from the area. He wanted to see if there was pus around the port. There was no pus, however the liquid was not clear as it should be but milky. He asked me if I recently hurt myself because it could also be a reason for the liquid to be milky (from the fat).

So he will send in the liquids from the affected area and requests a culture. It is then placed in a container with a substance (called growth medium or culture medium) that helps organisms grow. If nothing important grows, the culture is negative. If something that can cause infection grows, the culture is positive. The type of organisms will be identified with a microscope, chemical tests, or both. (Source: www.webmd.com)

This will take approximately 10 days and then we will know for sure if it is an infection or not. And if it is an infection he will also know what kind of an infection and will be able to properly treat it with medications.

If it is an infection I will have a minor surgery to remove my port and it will be placed back once the infection is completely healed. :-(

On my drive back home I had one of my emotional break-downs that lasted 20 minutes. I just had to let it all out and had to cry.  This time it was a Beyonce Song, that switched my mood in a split second from total sadness to total happiness, because deep inside of me I just know that in the end all will be good. No matter if I have an infection or not... if my port has to be removed or not I will deal with it either way and will continue to have a positive outlook.

I am back home, took one of the crushed nasty-tasting antibiotic pills, still listening to Sweet Dreams and inviting positive energies into my life... because life it just too short than to waste it with worrying, sadness and negative thoughts! There is nothing I can do to change the outcome anyway.... So I will wait on my verdict with a smile on my face and hope for the best!

Will keep you up to date!

I am in pain! My port area hurts really bad!

First off all thank you for all your feedback and comments and a big, warm WELCOME to my new followers! I will address your questions once my pain subsides :-(

Over the weekend my port pain increased, so I called my surgeon's office today and scheduled an appointment for tomorrow. It just does not feel right and something has to be wrong. I am not too sensitive when it comes to pain and I have no clue what causes this pain.

A couple of hours ago the pain turned into a strong constant pain... it feels like an internal burning and it is painful just to stand, to lay down or to walk around. The only time the pain feels less painful is when I am sitting down.

The port area is red but it isn't warmer than any other areas of my stomach and I do not have a fever. The incision looks kind of normal, there is nothing leaking and it looks like a normal scar, just a little darker than the other ones.

My husband is totally over worried because he knows that I can take pain well and when I say I am in pain I am really in pain. He even wants to take me to the emergency room but I can hold on to it until tomorrow. I rather have my surgeon look at it than someone that may not even know what a lap-band is.

Please cross your fingers that this is not an infection and just something very minor and the pain goes away fast and for me to continue my journey with a huge smile on my face.

:-(

Good Days and Bad Days, today is a bad one!

23 days of liquid diet and mushy food have finally come to an end and I can eat some solid food.

I am not even excited :-( I am sitting here with my coffee... no, actually it is a cappuccino, because my coffee maker broke a couple of hours ago and ruined my Its-a-new-day-lets-make-it-a-happy-day-mood.

Yesterday I started to get some pain on top of the scar by the belly button. I assume my pants agitated the area through friction. It worried me and I put some Neosporin on it and do not think that it is an infection or anything. It is already getting better today and will not call my surgeon because I will see him on Tuesday anyway. The other incisions are completely healed, they look like normal little scars and so does the bigger one by the belly button except of that little sensitive spot. I should not worry about it... I am positive that it is nothing serious.

My scale is still not on my side.. it did not move in over a week even though I have not eaten more than 1000 calories and walked up some hills for at least 20 minutes on the Elliptical trainer on a daily basis. I cut back on the exercise because I felt that I overdid it the first couple of days and got so weak that I needed afternoon-naps afterward. It defeats the purpose. That's why I will work up my exercising regiment slowly... next week I will do 30 minutes, the week after 40 minutes and so on. Once I can handle an hour without exhausting attacks I will hire a personal trainer to bring it to the next level.

So what am I going to eat today? I have no idea... I am not hungry and I have no appetite..

I thought that a new pair of shoes would cheer me up, so I went to Nordstrom.com and ordered the pair of shoes that I have been eyeballing for the last week but unfortunately it did not make a difference in my mood. I already own the same pair in different colors and materials but the glossy one is by far my favorite... so I needed to have it. (Geox Euro 26)

I have no idea why I am feeling so down today... I am sitting in my office...staring out of the window, listen to Mary J. Blige, told everyone here that I do not want to be disturbed and feel that I should just call my girl friends, invite them for lunch, drive to the beach, sit outdoors, watch people, talk about anything and call it the weekend. Yes, I think beach would make me happy... but I do not know about lunch... I have not had any solid foods yet... and nobody knows about my surgery... I am worried that Your Highness will cause me problems and embarrasses me publicly.

Mushy, liquid-ish foods do not cause any problems but once I eat something that is on the dryer side I feel restrictions... Maybe I just order soup? Baeh... but I am so sick of soups?  But I guess I have no choice... beach and soup... or staring out of the window for the rest of the day?

I am off to the beach... hopefully it will turn my mood around.... Will check in with you later :-X