Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I want my port back :-(
I have not posted for a while because I have been extremely busy with work and all the Holiday stuff. During the last couple of weeks my Christmas packages from friends and family in Europe arrived and they were all stuffed to the brim with cookies, marzipan and gingerbread (and books and DVDs and gifts for Christmas). Very bad! This is really the stuff that gets to me because it is not just candy... it's what childhood memories taste like. I have been hiding it all around the house and so far have been doing good.
Unfortunately I do not have much of a restriction left and have to rely on willpower. All those European Christmas Goodies around the house do not make it any easier. I normally do not buy those foods because if I do not have them at home I do not eat them nor crave them.
Yesterday we had friends over and had a wonderful BBQ... after Dinner I served a lot of the European Goodies with Tea and I am glad that everyone really liked it and ate a lot :-)
I have no idea when my port will be put back... this year? next year? It seems to be difficult for my surgeon's office to get an appointment from the hospital. We actually planned on flying to NYC next week to spend the holidays with my in-laws and I have no idea if I should cancel the flights or not. Nobody can give me any answers which frustrates me even more. I really need a fill soon and I am getting more and more frustrated with all of this. This is the wrong time of the year to be without a restriction and it saddens me that the entire infection-issue has somewhat killed my motivation...
Last week I said good-bye to the 250 and the scale displayed 249 (46 pounds lost), which made me very happy... however it wasn't a final good bye because today the scale showed 251 again :-(
I WANT MY PORT BACK!!! I WANT A FILL!!! AND I WANT MY MOTIVATION BACK!!! HELP!!!