I have not posted for a while because I have been extremely busy with work and all the Holiday stuff. During the last couple of weeks my Christmas packages from friends and family in Europe arrived and they were all stuffed to the brim with cookies, marzipan and gingerbread (and books and DVDs and gifts for Christmas). Very bad! This is really the stuff that gets to me because it is not just candy... it's what childhood memories taste like. I have been hiding it all around the house and so far have been doing good.
Unfortunately I do not have much of a restriction left and have to rely on willpower. All those European Christmas Goodies around the house do not make it any easier. I normally do not buy those foods because if I do not have them at home I do not eat them nor crave them.
Yesterday we had friends over and had a wonderful BBQ... after Dinner I served a lot of the European Goodies with Tea and I am glad that everyone really liked it and ate a lot :-)
I have no idea when my port will be put back... this year? next year? It seems to be difficult for my surgeon's office to get an appointment from the hospital. We actually planned on flying to NYC next week to spend the holidays with my in-laws and I have no idea if I should cancel the flights or not. Nobody can give me any answers which frustrates me even more. I really need a fill soon and I am getting more and more frustrated with all of this. This is the wrong time of the year to be without a restriction and it saddens me that the entire infection-issue has somewhat killed my motivation...
Last week I said good-bye to the 250 and the scale displayed 249 (46 pounds lost), which made me very happy... however it wasn't a final good bye because today the scale showed 251 again :-(
I WANT MY PORT BACK!!! I WANT A FILL!!! AND I WANT MY MOTIVATION BACK!!! HELP!!!
You have come too far to give up. I have only had two fills, my restriction is not what I want it to be, but we are better than when we started.
ReplyDeleteAW this sucks! What a hard time to be without a fill. I remember how bad I felt when my fill appointment right before Halloween got cancelled...and I proceeded to eat my way through the Halloween candy.
ReplyDeleteBut I know you can do it - you are at 46 already! That is awesome!
I loved your comment about how childhood memories taste...so true! But I am glad to hear you were able to resist and shared those memories with friends instead. Port or no port you are doing amazing.
ReplyDeleteI agree, you are doing great even without the port, but I will be thinking good thoughts for you that you get to have the port back VERY SOON!!
ReplyDeleteWow, what a genius idea, have your German goodies for dessert with friends!! That way you can sample them but have most of them gone!!
I know what you mean about family tradition & childhood memories. Every time I bake a German Chocolate Cake (from scratch/my favorite), I think of my Grandmother as she always made this cake for me for Thanksgiving & Christmas. Now my Daughter has begun to make it too. :)
Hope you hear the news you have been waiting for soon.
Happy Holidays
You have some strong will power and you are doing great. I am from New Orleans and it is very hard to resist all the fattening foods there. Last month I had some fluids taken out of my port because it was too tight and I had no restriction and ate everything. Think about how far you have come. You are doing good keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteAW, I am so sorry this happening. It's every bandsters nightmare, really. But you're handling it with grace and acceptance and still putting in the effort. Once your port is back in you'll be able to look back and see how well you truly did, but right now I'll bet you have yourself under a bit of a microscope.
ReplyDeleteHeheheh-- sounds like the german relatives are a little too fun tho!!
;-)
Hope you get good news soon on getting your port back. You have come so far already... when you get it back you will continue to do so!!!!
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say, Happy New Year!!
ReplyDeleteHang in there!! You'll get back with the band.. in the meantime, do your very best to work with what motivation you can muster. Remember: motivation comes from the DOING of something. Maybe that will help?
ReplyDeleteI've struggled with my pre-op diet, but once I started really actively DOING it (instead of resisting) -- it got easier. Just a thought for you, hope you continue to heal well.
Can you find a new Dr?
ReplyDelete- Lisa
http://inweighovermyhead.blogspot.com/
Just found your blog...hope you've gotten your port back by now!!! It must be so frustrating!
ReplyDelete-BG
http://bandgroupiethesweetspot.blogspot.com/
Hiya, love your blog. I just nominated it for a Best Blogger Award over at my blog
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work!
Bunny
How are you doing? Haven't heard from you in a while.
ReplyDelete