Wednesday, April 28, 2010
70 down - half way there - and NSVs
I am sooo relived I broke that annoying plateau and see the scale moving!
70.5 down... and I have now less to lose than I've already lost... 69.5 to go!
I also experienced a couple of NSV yesterday... I was trying on all kinds of clothes and proudly showed my husband "Remember? I wore it on Grandma's 90th Birthday" or "Wanna marry me again?" Because I fit into the dress I wore when we got married (not a Wedding dress, because we never really had a Wedding, just had a small ceremony in City Hall)... "Wanna go to Paris?" because I fit into a Winter Outfit that I bought and only wore once when we vacationed in Paris and never fit into it after that because that's when the Atkins diet ended and I slowly gained my weight back...
My husband was really fascinated... truly fascinated and did not say it just to make me happy, it felt very sincere when he said "I am so excited to be your husband" "You are truly beautiful and I can't wait so see the cookie inside of you that you have been hiding for all these year" and "that I look sexy".
It made me sooo happy to hear him say that... He is my biggest cheerleader and I love him with every fiber of my being. He never complained about my weight and still made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman on the planet. He is the best thing that ever happened to me.
None of my diets ever brought me below the 200 mark... The closest I got was 214 and since it was not too long ago I still remember how it felt like... I can't wait to get below the 214 mark and experience a whole new me that was lost in all that flubber for so many years. I am pretty excited today, because for the first time I really believe that I will make it happen and it makes me very emotional because I had buried that dream or the wish to be "normal" and accepted somehow to be "big" for the rest of my life.
Then there was my most favorite red top... a top that I cherished and loved because it has a cut that hid my weight very good and no matter what the occasion was I could wear it. It was my life-saver on many occasion. If nothing else worked, I always had my red top. Well, the "red top" found it's place next to the size 20 jeans... that I will never ever wear again.. but will be a reminder of where I come from (and where I never ever want to be at).
I am at a point where I really feel the weight loss, where I see the physical changes and where I cannot believe how small my upper body became. When I look in the mirror... I start to see ME! It brings tears to my eyes just typing it... because it really hit me yesterday that the weight will be lost... that I have a huge fire burning within me that will make it happen... it will happen... no matter how long it takes!
I am so excited to get to know "ME" again and I wonder what it will feel like to be "normal" I still have long way to go... but I will get there... step by step... one day at a time... !
Thanks for reading and I am soo thankful that I have all of you to share my feelings and experiences with. It really means a lot to me.